There are reasons why I decided to stop writing. For one, it became a tool to scar others.
Here are the Reasons Why I Stopped Writing on my Blog
1. I got a writing gig.
My bio always says that I write for a living and for passion. However, when I got my writing gig, this only means “writing for a living” for me. The “writing for passion” thing seems to be out of the picture. I write for extra bucks using my head alone. No emotions attached. This is why I somehow find it hard to continue producing articles on my blog. My flair for a passionate writing seems to have lost its shine when I started writing for money alone.
2. It scarred other people’s lives.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Sadly, I’ve learned this the hard way. My writing has tapped a cluster of an audience that wasn’t a fan of my work. And worse, these people got hurt. I hated how writing can sometimes become a tool to scar others and yourself. As they say, sticks and stones don’t break bones, but words do. And it left scars that’ll serve as lessons for both the readers and the writer.
3. My priorities have changed.
Climbing the career ladder is what I’m currently up to. Gone are the days when I would treat my blog as an emotional punching bag or a secret wall where I whisper my feelings. I used to rant and pour my sentiments filled with toxic metaphors and cheesy desires to the pages of my blog. Those days are over.
4. I’m binge-watching TV series and movies on Netflix.
From Mad Men to Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I just can’t stop watching TV series on Netflix. It started when I availed a free subscription for a month. It got worse when I decided to create a new account to avail another free subscription. Soon, I’ve become a paid subscriber and there isn’t a minute or a cent I intend to waste. Hence, the time I used to spend writing on my blog is now part of my content consumption on Netflix.
5. I learned to control my emotions.
This is one of the hardest life lessons to learn, especially if you’re a woman who has high expectations in life, in others, and in yourself. When emotions keep flowing, there’s no better way to stop it than to write your feelings down. It’s as if writing allows me to blame whoever and whatever it is I can think of when things don’t work out for me. It lets me take the burden away from my chest and puts it into a piece of paper or into a web page. With these, I abused the comforts and the freedom that writing offered to the table. This is the mistake I continuously try to work on.
Thankfully, I somehow learned to control my emotions when I started picking my battles. I learned to put to rest the unnecessary issues. I now value my energy and reserve it for important matters than being angry or hurt over trivial things.
6. I keep my stories unpublished.
There are words people need to see and there are words you need to keep under your pillow. Mine is the latter. While mysteries lurk behind unpublished stories, extremes come with these more often. 1.) extreme guilt wherein you’ve felt something you should’ve not and wrote it down in secrecy 2.) extreme hope that at the right time, the right people will see your words when guilt is no longer an option.
7. I keep making excuses.
What makes this article stupid is how I cover up my excuses with what I call reasons. There isn’t an item in this list valid enough to justify why I stopped writing. I could’ve written on the side while these reasons keep popping up but I didn’t. My excuses seem to overpower me. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I don’t feel accomplished regardless of the wins.
I feel remorse for letting my passion for writing vanish into thin air. So now, instead of adding another entry to my unpublished folder, I’m letting this piece be exposed. I’m giving the green light for these words to live; for these words to flourish into my darkest days. And when they beam with radiance, I’ll know it’s time to breathe life into words once again.
ANNEthologies ♛ 